The Hawaiian Predicament (part 12 of 30)
“Well…” Louis had gotten so used to his charismatic effect on older women it didn’t even phase him, he knew he had the mojo. “Well if no one would like to take the floor, I have ideas on both topics.”
“Regarding my first question, I would like nothing more than to offer the right of the 50th state of the United States to our friend to the south – Puerto Rico.” Louis paused for a brief moment for dramatic effect, and then continued, “the Puerto Ricans have waited too long for this. They have sat there idly, waiting and waiting for us to grant them in. They are good people and they deserve this way more than those Hawaiians! I mean think about it, what type of people put ham and pineapple on pizza?!!”
The crowd grumbled with agreement, their hatred for Hawaii clearly growing with each passing word of Louis’ speech.
“Well not Americans that’s for sure,” continued Louis, still ranting about Hawaiians’ pizza choice. “And you know what type of pizza Puerto Ricans enjoy?” Another pause was taken by Louis to heighten the tension in the room, “You guessed it. Mushrooms, olives, and ground beef. The way every true blooded American should eat a pie.”
The crowd cheered in clear support, an elderly woman in the corner was clearly audible as she yelled “Louis! Your sex appeal grows with each growing minute!”
“Well then,” Louis continued feeling even more confident about his looks than ever, “all in favor of granting Puerto Rico the 50th state, say ‘ayy’.”
The crowd erupted with support and Louis grinned to himself. Upon close view, one could see through his smile that there was something else behind his speech, something else behind his motives. He was trying to get to someone, trying to hurt somebody. He was trying to get to Johnny Tsunami, his arch nemesis.