The Hawaiian Predicament (part 10 of 30)
“Which brings me to my problem with Mexican food, my excessive diarrhea, and the coconut cream that would cure my ailment.” Paco said gruffly, bringing Johnny Tsunami back to the conversation and out of his temporary state of depression.
“You see, the path to taking the right of statehood away from a state is a long and dangerous one. One that may take several months. I don’t know if you learned this in school, but when they took the statehood away from South Delaware in 1824 the process lasted five months!”
“Oh good, so then I still have time to stop this” stated Johnny Tsunami.
“Well, yes and no. There are things the government can do before they officially can “de-state” Hawaii. Terrible, terrible things that can be done instantly.” Paco inched now even closer to Johnny Tsunami, so close that Johnny could see some food reminisce stuck in some of Paco’s longer whiskers. “I hear that the government is planning on doing many things to degrade the state of Hawaii, as well as Hawaiians. As of today, the entire mainland country has put an embargo on all Hawaiian made goods. They are trying to ruin their economy. This means that I, Paco, can not get any of that coconut dietary cream that I so desire.”
“I see, I see” said Johnny Tsunami, now understanding why Paco was taking so long to ask the favor. “So you want me, Johnny Tsunami, to get you this coconut cream for your ailments?”
“Si, si, now you understand what I am saying mi amigo,” said Paco with glee. “You, being Hawaiian, good looking, and a movie star would have a far easier time getting the product in. If you give me this coconut cream, I will in return furnish you with the best dance skills this side of the border”
“I will take your offer,” exclaimed Johnny Tsunami. “But this issue is not done. You will have your coconut cream, I will get my dance skills, but Hawaii will stay in the union. I’ll be damned if I am going to see Hawaii go back to the way it was…”
“Well sir, how do you think you will go about your quest to save Hawaii?” asked Paco.
“Because I know where all this heat is coming from. The fact that the main drivers behind “de-stating” Hawaii is Disney and New Mexico is no coincidence. Someone, someone in particular, is linked to this horrible, horrible campaign. And I have an inkling this someone is none other than my arch-rival, Louis.”
“Eekkkk!!!!” Paco screamed.
“Oh, I see, you have heard of him and his famous dancing?” Johnny Tsunami asked.
Johnny Tsunami shrugged, shook Paco’s hand, and with that walked away. Mixed emotions filled his head, for he had reasons to be both happy and upset. He was going to learn how to dance. He was going to be able to show up Louis, and get the respect back from his cast members. However, at the same time, he had several problems on his hands. Hawaii was going to lose its state-ship. He was going to have to be around Paco more, and thus his obscene body odor and facial hair. And worst of all, he had no idea how he was going to import in the 20 cases of coconut bowel movement cream that had been requested onto him. He had a lot of problems to deal with, and not a second to waste.