The Hawaiian Predicament (part 9 of 30)
“Apparently there has been a recent push, a very strong push, to try to take Hawaii’s statehood. It’s coming from both large corporations and state governments.”
“Which ones exactly? Which corporations and state governments are behind this atrocity?” Johnny Tsunami asked.
“What I hear on the streets is,” and Paco got really close to tell Johnny this secret. Johnny definitely struggling with both Paco’s smell; as well as a now close up view of his whiskers.
“Apparently the “Campaign to De-State Hawaii,” which is what they are calling it, is coming from the nation’s most influential company. The very company that has been accused of having their hands around every important decision this country has seen these past 25 years. The company accused of fixing the OJ Simpson verdict, the company accused of escalating Macauley Culkin’s popularity in the ‘90’s.”
Johnny Tsunami looked horrified, not wanting Paco to say what he knew he was going to say.
“Yes,” Paco continued, he knew what Johnny did not want to hear, “this is the same company that has brainwashed some of the idiots of the nation into thinking Universal Health Care is a good thing – doing it all for a sick joke!”
“NO!!!!!!!” Johnny Tsunami was screaming, hot with anger. “The Disney Corporation…” he said with defeat.
“You would think supporting such a ridiculous thing as Universal Health Care was bad enough…now they want to do away with my home state!” Johnny Tsunami said angrily.
“I know, Vato…I know,” Paco said reassuringly, his whiskers blowing in the wind.
“And may I ask which state governments are pushing for the end of Hawaii?” Johnny Tsunami asked, but he knew the answer.
“There is only one state government, mi amigo. However it is the strongest one, the one that gets the most pull in Congress.”
Johnny Tsunami was shaking with a mixture of fear, anger, and hunger as he knew he could eat one more ‘Root ‘n Toody Fresh ‘n Fruity.’
“You my friend, are standing within that state’s jurisdiction as we speak,” Paco went on. “You guessed it. The state that is adding to The Disney Corporation’s push for the end of the statehood of Hawaii is none other than the powerful New Mexican government.”
“Noooooooooooooo!!!!!” shrieked Johnny Tsunami.
“Oh yes my friend, we are up against an impossible force. Who would have ever thought New Mexico and Disney would finally unite? The two most powerful entities in the nation. There looks to be no hope for the statehood of Hawaii…” Paco trailed off, knowing Johnny Tsunami did not want to hear more.
Johnny Tsunami was crying, kneeling on the dirty street.